Here’s Where I’m At
I have been hesitant to identify myself as a “writer” for a several reasons.
The first being that the culture of online writing terrifies me. As a woman, I recognize that if I step on the wrong toes, there’s a significant risk of online harassment and threats to personal safety. With that as an ever looming possibility, it certainly negates my desire to make my presence known.
Conversely, the capitalist model of online writing facilitates negative traits among writers – and I have doubted my ability to navigate the pitfalls of this culture and not succumb to them. This includes the egoism of self promotion, the self righteousness of skilled articulation, the scramble to churn out reactionary “hot takes” that can so easily spread misinformation, and the alienating smugness of “takedowns.”
These are the tensions I struggle with when it comes to finding my place and my voice as a writer online.
By downplaying my own platform, as I have so far, I can view my writing as a humble side project. This subsequently allows me to downplay the responsibility of being taken seriously as a “writer.” It also allows me to fly under the radar and avoid any real confrontation – and let’s be real, by “confrontation” I mean rape threats.
But I do want to be taken seriously, and I do want people to read what I write.
I find myself in a place where, among the various skills I have developed, writing is one that gives me the most energy. I am overall quite fragile on physical and emotional levels, but challenging myself to write – and write well – has been an effective coping mechanism. It allows me to express my agency in a world where it feels so frequently denied.
So, if I want people to read and engage with my work, I must validate the power of my words. I must acknowledge the weight and responsibility of my own voice and hold myself to the highest standards.
Hence, this page. It’s a formalization of sorts.
Here’s What I Am About
I aim to be an ally in not only the struggle against imperial, colonial capitalism – but towards a decolonized, sustainable future for the planet and all its inhabitants.
I’m 27 years old and, frankly, have been through enough bullshit that I don’t really see the point in much else besides trying to find a vastly better direction for this human project to go.
I view my writing as a sort of pedagogical process for both myself and the reader. Through writing, I can process my own thoughts, feelings and experiences and place them within larger political contexts. My hope is that my writing will allow others to do the same for themselves.
When we better understand ourselves – who we are, and where we have come from – we can better find our individual paths in the struggle, and build understanding, trust, and solidarity.
I also aim to take on some research-based work to highlight information that might otherwise remain inaccessible – information that might aid grassroots organizers in Canada.
I don’t have the answers, but I am committed to searching. I will put what I have here on the table, and you can take or leave what you like.
We may not know exactly what form of a more dignified alternative to this exploitative, abusive system we are capable of creating – but we owe it to ourselves to find out.
And though we may feel so very alone and the path disturbingly unclear, we must remind ourselves that others around the world have walked before us with the same vision. We are not alone. We have never been alone.
I’m tired, so bloody tired. So are you, I know. But I firmly believe there is love and joy to be found in the struggle – in solidarity itself. This is an invitation to find it.